


Ankaa

by the_genderman



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Animal Transformation, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Getting Together, Gift Fic, Holodeck Malfunction, IN SPACE!, M/M, Phoenixes, Pining, Protective Steve Rogers, References to past trauma, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23893015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman
Summary: The first rule of away missions: that rock is never quite what you think it is. Sometimes the meteorite you've been sent down to collect turns out to be a (very handsome) phoenix in stasis.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 17
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fannishlove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishlove/gifts).



> Ankaa is the classical name for the star Alpha Phoenicis, the brightest star in the constellation Phoenix.
> 
> Terminology-wise, the space rock is known as a meteoroid when it’s in space, a meteor when it’s in the atmosphere, and a meteorite once it’s landed. There will be a bit of hand-wavey science fiction stuff in here, I don’t want to bog down the story with “would that actually work like that?” type explanations.

“I’ve been over the readings fourteen times now, and that thing doesn’t behave like any meteoroid I’ve ever encountered,” Stark said, looking between the crewmembers assembled in the ready room, hands clasped eagerly. “I need to know what it is and why it’s doing what it’s doing. Luckily, Captain Danvers feels similarly, and has allowed me to select an away team to go down and see how much of it is left and how much we can find and study. So, how excited is everyone to be going on this excursion?”

Bucky slipped slightly further down in his seat. He could feel Sam’s eyes on him but he didn’t want to look directly at anyone in the room. He wasn’t sure why he’d been picked; he was a botanist. The meteoroid– well, meteorite now that it had landed– had hit the atmosphere of a tiny rock-and-ice planetoid and burned up quite spectacularly. Unless the data suggested that it might somehow be carrying plantlife, particularly resilient spores or something, Bucky didn’t think there would be anything for him to do once they reached the surface except shiver. Sure, their suits kept them warm enough, but it was a psychosomatic kind of chill, for him. And, oh yeah, he still _hated_ the cold. He crossed his arms tighter over his chest, feeling the psychosomatic chill seeping into his bones, both the natural ones he was born with and the cybernetic ones in his prosthetic arm. It had been _years_ ago, but it had been cold when he lost the arm, and some things were never truly consigned to the past...

Sam gently kicked his ankle. Bucky snapped back to the present. He glanced quickly over; Sam gave him a brief smile.

Tony seemingly hadn’t noticed anything at all. He might be a technical genius, but what he had gained in brains, he had lost in tact.

Bucky tentatively raised his hand.

“Oh?” Tony said, turning towards Bucky. “Barnes? You have a question?”

“Yeah,” Bucky drawled, almost hoping if he was slightly less than professional, he’d get replaced on the mission. “I’m a botanist. There are no plants, no life of any kind as far as we know, on that iceball of a planet down there. Why did you pick me?”

“You’re moping,” Tony answered. “You need something to get you out of your head, and I know you like doing holophotography. It might be an iceball planet, but have you seen the images the probe sent back? You’ll love it, and besides, we’ll need some closer-up pics of that meteorite than what the probe can send us.”

“It’s _cold_ ,” Bucky countered.

“It’ll be fun,” Tony said. A couple beats of uncomfortable silence, then “Don’t be a grump, it’ll be good for you.”

Bucky shrugged. “Eh. I guess I can try not to grumble the whole time.”

“Good!” Tony grinned. “We leave for the surface tomorrow. That rock doesn’t know what’s in store for it.”

––––––

Bucky found Sam in the gym later that day, taking his usual run around the track. After a brief warmup, he slipped into his running rhythm and pulled up next to Sam.

“Did you put Stark up to that?” Bucky asked, glancing over at Sam, hoping to read something on his face. “Did you ask him to bring me along to get me out of my head or something?”

Sam shook his head. “Nah, I know you’ve gotta work through things on your own terms. Believe it or not, other people have noticed that you haven’t been yourself since… since the accident. And Tony might be clueless about other people most of the time, but when he has his moments of empathy, he notices _everything_. He’s just trying to help.”

Bucky hummed skeptically. He and Sam jogged in a comfortable silence for a couple passes on the short track, the only sound the background whir of the ship’s systems.

“If you don’t want to go, I can talk to him for you. I know you two don’t always see eye to eye when you’re worked up, either of you,” Sam said, grabbing his water bottle off the bench as he passed it. He took a long drink, giving Bucky time to consider his answer.

“It can’t hurt, I guess?” Bucky said, his voice far less than certain. “Maybe if I think about it like desensitization therapy. It’ll be a quick and easy mission, just go down, take some pics of a rock, then once we know it’s safe, load it back onto the shuttle and be done with it. It’ll be cold, but it’ll be safe.”

“That’s a good way to look at it,” Sam agreed. “And even if you’re just going down there to stretch your legs, it’ll be nice to get off the ship for a bit, yeah? You know my specialty’s biochemistry, and like you said, there’s almost no chance there’s any kind of life on that meteorite. I probably won’t have much to do other than run some scans and do some quick tests to say ‘nope, no life here, not even any amino acids or promising organic materials.’ I’m taking full advantage of the opportunity to feel _real_ gravity for a few hours, even if it is only half grav.”

“You can’t tell the difference between gravity on a planet and the gravity on this ship,” Bucky laughed, glancing over at Sam.

“I can _feel_ it. I just _know_ ,” Sam replied with a friendly elbow to Bucky’s side. Bucky dodged out of the way, and Sam continued. “Maybe you should see if you can pick up on the little differences, too, when you get down there. Give you something to focus on so you don’t worry.”

“Maybe I will,” Bucky nodded. He looked back to the track. He and Sam continued their run in comfortable silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky checked his holocamera equipment bag again. He knew already that everything was in there, the broad-spectrum lens attached, the whole unit snug inside its cold-resistant skin, designed for use with bulky spacesuit gloves. The broad-spectrum lens wasn’t his favorite, it didn’t give the _best_ quality holophotos, but they’d be good enough for what they needed. Especially if he didn’t have to fiddle around with changing out lenses with gloves on. He ran his hands over the camera one last time before closing the bag and securing the flap. He looked up just in time to catch the little nod Sam gave him.

“Ready?” Sam asked, hand subconsciously moving to the tricorder secured to his suit as he checked his own equipment again.

“Yeah,” Bucky said with a casual little laugh. “As soon as Stark’s done chatting up the chief engineer. It can’t be easy checking over the shuttle with Chatterbox mooning over him at every step.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “The sooner Tony gets over whatever personal hangup he’s got and asks Rhodes out, the better for all of us. Especially since Natasha looks like she’s about ready to go over there and physically drag him onto the shuttle so the pre-flight inspection can get finished.”

Both Sam and Bucky turned to look over to where the fourth member of their away mission, security officer Romanoff, was frowning at Tony, arms crossed over her chest.

"I guess I'm going to go ahead and board now," Bucky said, drawing out his words. "The way I see it, if I'm seated and secured, I'm less likely to want to bolt."

"Yeah, alright, let’s go get buckled in," Sam agreed.

–––––––––

The atmosphere on the little planetoid was thin and the descent slightly turbulent. Bucky gripped his seat tighter, the sensations coming through his prosthetic almost like the real thing, as Stark piloted the shuttlecraft to the flattest spot in the vicinity of the crater. Bucky wasn't about to admit it out loud, but the scene out the viewport was rather pretty. The sky was a deep velvety indigo, the stars not yet visible. The ice covering the surface of the planetoid was opaque white, rising in spears and arches of translucent electric blue. The meteor crater was a large, dark scar in the icy landscape. The shuttle jolted a little as it touched down and Bucky unclenched his fingers. 

“This is your captain speaking, and we have arrived at our destination. The temperature is a balmy minus 97 degrees Celsius, which is 176 Kelvin, if anyone was curious. Please put on your helmets and return your tray tables to their upright position. We are ready to rock and roll on this meteorite,” Tony announced, not quite managing to drown out Romanoff’s beleaguered sigh.

Sam nudged Bucky with his elbow. Bucky nodded in reply and slid his helmet on, locking it into position. He tested the seal again and, finding it secure as ever, gave his go-ahead.

“I know you all know the drill,” Romanoff interjected, “but stay together. We’re here for one thing. Readings say this location is geologically stable but it _is_ icy, this planetoid doesn’t have a breathable atmosphere and, like Stark said, it’s cold. We’re going to get in, determine if there’s anything left of the meteorite worth collecting, and get back to the ship all in one piece.”

“You heard the security officer,” Tony chimed in. “Everyone ready? Yes? Alright, off we go.”

The shuttle door hissed and crackled as it slid open, the semi-permeable force field across the doorway holding the air in while allowing the crew to pass through freely. Bucky watched Stark go first, followed by Sam. Romanoff gave him a look, a little impatient, but not unfriendly, and he stood up, made sure he still had all his gear, and disembarked. Romanoff followed close on his heels. 

The little crew began to move towards the meteorite crater with Sam in front and Natasha taking up the rear. Sam’s tricorder gave a slow, comfortable beep every three seconds as they approached, detecting no biomarkers as he swept it over their path. Tony made the occasional comment about a nice rock feature. Bucky slipped the holocamera out of its bag and lifted it halfway to ready. He glanced around, soaking in the scenery, and wondering if it would be ok to snap a few photos before they got to the meteorite. Eh, better to ask forgiveness than permission, or something like that. He aimed the holocamera at a twisting spire of ice that looked almost deliberately carved, it was so perfectly artistic. It would look nice on the wall of his quarters.

"Alright Barnes, you got that camera ready?" came Tony's voice. "I've got direct visuals on the meteorite, and it is large and _gorgeous_. Possibly some variety of achondrite, if I know my meteorite classification just by eyeballing it. I want this recorded for posterity before we start sampling."

Bucky snapped back to attention, immediately focused on the task at hand. He quickened his pace and reached the lip of the crater. Sam reached up to offer him a hand down the slope, shallow but loose with debris. As soon as Bucky reached the bottom of the crater, he thanked Sam and began taking photos of the meteorite. Wide bird’s eye views, quick snaps of close angles, a slow pan around the circumference of the rusty-gray, beach ball sized, oblong mass. The surface was pocked and pitted and little flakes of burned off rock chips and fragments littered the landing zone, but the remainder of the meteorite looked very solid. That was Bucky’s professional opinion as a botanist: it looked solid. Ten out of ten, a good, solid rock. He didn’t usually pay much attention to rocks, but he felt like this was a pretty nice rock.

“Any biologicals?” Bucky heard Tony ask Sam as he circled the meteorite.

“My tricorder isn’t reading anything known,” Sam answered, “but we might want to quarantine it and give it a more thorough scan if we decide to take it back with us, because I’m getting some kind of anomalous signal that the probe didn’t pick up on its scan.”

“Radiation?” Natasha asked quickly.

“No, it’s not any kind of radiation we’ve calibrated to detect. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t like that I don’t know,” Sam said, tapping the tricorder’s screen, tweaking the parameters. Less sensitive, but scanning over a broader range, hoping to figure out where to start to narrow the conditions again.

“I’m a little worried that we didn’t pick it up on the probe scan, but we’re here now and there’s nothing we can do about it until we get back to the ship,” Natasha said, recalibrating her own tricorder. “Let’s get this scan done as quickly as possible and return to the shuttle.”

“I think that’s the last of the holophotos,” Bucky announced and stepped back from the meteorite. “I’m ready whenever the rest of you are.”

“Ok yes, but we are taking the meteorite back with us, yes?” Tony asked. “Anomalous readings just make me want to give it a closer look.”

“Yes, Tony, we know,” Natasha replied drily. “Let’s take a vote– are we bringing the meteorite back with us?”

Tony, Sam, and Bucky all raised their hands.

“Well that was quick and unanimous,” Natasha said. “As soon as we get back to the shuttle, I will let the ship know what we found and that we’ll need a quarantine set up in the shuttle bay for when we return.”

–––––––––––

Bucky twisted in his seat to glance at the meteorite again. Absolutely nothing had changed since his last look roughly three minutes ago; the rock sat in its protective case behind the little cargo hold’s forcefield. It hadn’t moved, hadn’t sprouted anything, hadn’t begun to glow or whistle or tap-dance or anything, but for some reason, Bucky just felt drawn to it.

“Man, you’re starting to make _me_ antsy,” Sam said, nudging Bucky with the toe of his boot. “Why do you keep looking at the meteorite like it’s going to jump up and try to bite you?”

“I dunno,” Bucky shrugged. “I feel like there’s _something_ about it I just can’t place, like when you know you know a word, but just can’t think of what it is so you call a ferret a ‘cat snake’ or something like that. You get what I’m saying? You feel it too?”

“I’m not really getting that feeling you’re describing, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong,” Sam replied. “Maybe you read something back in the Academy that’s relevant to the scan data but you can’t remember right now. Whatever it is, try to put it out of your mind, you’ll remember it when you’re trying to fall asleep or something. We’ll have enough time waiting in quarantine for it to come back to you.”

“Yeah, we definitely will,” Bucky sighed, slouching back into his seat.

“Hey, look on the bright side,” Sam said, elbowing Bucky gently. “At least this time we won’t be stuck with the entire crew of the USS Milano like that time they smuggled an unregistered, experimental energy source onboard, remember that?”

“Oh, don’t remind me,” Bucky laughed despite himself. “Yeah, maybe I’ll just take a nap as soon as we get back, try not to worry too much.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Sam replied with a nod.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art in this chapter by Fannishlove

Bucky wasn’t sure what woke him up. The quarantine section of the shuttle bay was quiet and still, the lights currently dimmed for sleep. After the initial hubbub of suits and scans and portable showers, everything quieted down significantly as the four of them set up their cots and tablets, then read or otherwise entertained themselves until lights-out. Bucky glanced around. Natasha and Sam were both asleep. The faint glow of a tablet suggested that Tony was still reading, but it was equally likely he had fallen asleep in the middle of whatever book or journal article he had been reading. It probably hadn’t been any of them who had woken him. It hadn’t been a hail from another deck, either, or else the caller would have kept trying until one of them responded or someone had been sent down to check on them. Bucky rolled over and looked over at the meteorite where it sat, kept at a (probably) safe distance from them.

The meteorite had been scanned and scanned and scanned again with nothing to show for it. No radiation, no unusual energy signatures, no nothing. Sam had scanned it again to try to replicate the readings he had gotten back on the surface, but no, it had come back clean this time. The data was stored in there, though, so his tricorder had been taken away for analysis; perhaps there had been something down on the surface it had been reading, perhaps he had just had the misfortune of getting a glitch in the middle of a mission. It was rare, but not entirely unheard of. Space could get really weird if you ended up in the right– or wrong– places.

Maybe it was just a rock. A particularly nice rock, according to Tony, but just a rock.

Bucky sat up slowly. He gripped the edges of the cot and frowned, staring at the meteorite. It couldn't have been the _meteorite_ that had woken him up, could it? He squinted at the meteorite, blurring his vision until it was simply a smear of faintly luminous gray-brown in a soft gray darkness.

Wait.

Faintly luminous?

Bucky rose quickly and quietly to his feet and crossed the quarantine zone to where the meteorite sat. He glanced around for a tricorder, wondering if the ship was passively recording what the meteorite was doing. Seeing nothing immediate in the darkness, he thought that at the very least, he could take notes for later. He woke his tablet up and swiped into the notebook function, finger hovering over the keyboard as he watched the meteorite.

The glow increased, still faint but growing stronger, pulsing gold and red. Bucky tapped out his observations, fingers flying over the tablet screen, eyes darting between the tablet and the meteorite and the rest of the quarantine zone. How was everyone else still asleep when this was happening? He should probably wake someone else up, or get to the comms and ask why no one else was down here, scanners at the ready…

A flash of blue, then the meteorite erupted silently. Bucky squinted, bringing his hand up to cover his eyes against the brilliance of the light. Then, chaos. The scrape of cot legs against the floor, sleepy exclamations of surprise, Natasha cursing as she sprung to her feet, the whoosh of the shuttle bay doors opening and the thump of boots as a security crew ran towards the quarantine zone.

“Step away from the meteorite!” one of the security officers ordered, yelling over the commotion.

“What is that?” “What the hell is going on here?” “Did I _sleep through_ that?” “Stay back until we can figure out what’s happening!” A babel of voices as the light faded and Bucky’s eyes began to clear. As the initial uproar began to die down, Bucky could make out Natasha’s voice asking the same questions he had had– why hadn’t anyone contacted them when the first signs of change had been detected? The answer, they had tried, but the comms either wouldn’t go through or no one was answering, so they scrambled a team. Natasha and the security team were still speaking through the force field, but the words quickly faded from Bucky’s attention as what had been the meteorite finally condensed from a ball of light into something more solid.

Where the meteorite had sat, now stood a human-sized bird or something appearing much like one, if that bird seemed to be composed of living fire. The bird’s form shimmered and rippled, but it looked like a cross between a heron and a peacock, long neck, long legs, a long train with blue-white eyespots like tiny stars embedded in orange fire feathers. Graceful and magnificent. The bird slowly turned its head to survey the cargo bay. Bucky watched, entranced. It was beautiful. Surreal. Solid, but ethereal. Like the phoenix of old Earth legends, Bucky thought, born from fire. The phoenix turned its focus on Bucky, cocked its head, staring at, _into_ , him. Bucky swallowed. He thought he could almost feel the heat, the intensity of the phoenix’s focus in his core. 

Another flare of light as the phoenix spread its wings wide. Bucky’s world spun, dipping and swooping, though his feet were firmly planted on the floor, and the view through the windows didn’t change. It felt like time stopped for a heartbeat, and then the phoenix folded its wings around itself and disappeared into a cloud of silver smoke like a cocoon. The whole cargo bay fell silent.

“What... just happened?” one of the security crew asked in a whisper. All eyes were focused on the silver cloud, churning like a storm, but contained.

Bucky felt a pull, just a tiny little nudge, urging him to step forward, towards the phoenix cloud. He moved.

“What are you doing?” Natasha hissed at him, but Bucky didn’t stop.

Bucky lifted his hand in a gesture he hoped conveyed “I know what I’m doing” even though he really, _really_ didn’t. All he had was a _feeling_ , but he felt like this was the right thing to do.

Sam held out somebody’s tricorder and Bucky took it wordlessly. He lifted it to scan, but the cloud pulsed and swirled angrily.

“This won’t hurt you,” Bucky explained to the cloud. “I just, well, we’ve never met anything like you before, and… wait. I’ll scan myself first, show you what’s happening. See? Just taking readings. Sam? Back me up here.”

“Uh, yeah,” Sam said, stepping forward and finding a thread of conversation to grab onto, steadying himself. “It’s a tricorder. It’s a multipurpose device– medical scanner, spectral analysis, radiation detector, lots of different things. We’re a research ship. We’ve visited a lot of planets and planetoids, and what supports life on one planet could be deadly to another, either quickly or slowly. It’s not that we don’t trust you, it’s just that humans are… well, we’re really robust in some departments, but in others, we’re pretty vulnerable. We once encountered a fungus of sorts that _ate_ gamma radiation and lived in an environment whose gamma levels were so high they would have killed any one of us in minutes. Likewise, for example, there are species for whom oxygen is poisonous while we can’t live without it. We want to make sure both you and we are safe.”

The cloud’s swirling became less rapid, calming to a gentle eddy. If Bucky didn’t know better, he almost wanted to say the cloud had _nodded_ at Sam’s explanation. 

Bucky scanned himself from head to toe as the tricorder beeped gently. He showed the readings to the cloud, wondering if it was even capable of interpreting them.

“I’m going to scan you now, ok?” Bucky said, stepping forward slowly and holding out the tricorder. The cloud remained stationary, still swirling gently. 

Bucky scanned the cloud, slowly enough to make sure he wasn’t missing anything, but not so slow as to upset it again. His eyes darted back and forth between the cloud and the tricorder. No more anomalous readings, no unidentified signals. All the readings were coming back… almost human? Like an enhanced human, stronger, more efficient metabolism, better able to withstand radiation or toxic environments, but far more human than he would have expected from this cloud-fire-phoenix being. 

“Everything good?” the cloud asked in a voice that wouldn’t sound out of place coming from a human man.

Bucky stepped back, bumping into Sam. Tony fell over in surprise. The security team raised their phasers, standing at the ready. Natasha narrowed her eyes and stood her ground.

“You can talk?” Natasha asked, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. As much as she might pride herself on keeping her emotions in check externally, she _did_ have them.

“Yes, I can,” the cloud answered. “I had to do my own ‘scan’ of sorts on all of you and your ship to determine what languages would be required, but yes, I do speak. I am also able to take on many forms, many of which your crew might find more satisfactory than this chrysalis or my natural light-body. I also had to take the time to decide which one would be most suitable for both myself and you. Please, do not be alarmed.”

On that word, the cloud shivered, twisted, and parted to reveal the figure of a man, tall, blonde, pale-skinned, and muscular. His hair was to the ears, he had a short beard, and scattered across his body were blue, yellow, and red feathers. Other than the feathers, he was completely naked. Bucky blushed and averted his eyes. Sure, the phoenix-man was quite attractive, but it felt rude to stare.

“Ah,” the phoenix-man said with a nod. “This is not a place where public nudity is welcomed.” A uniform, much like those worn by Bucky and the rest of the crew, shimmered into place over his body. “Better?”

“That certainly is a handy feature; saves us having to measure you to find a set that fits you,” Natasha shrugged, not quite able to suppress a smile.

“Is there something we can call you, a name?” Sam asked. “We had been calling you ‘the meteorite,’ but that doesn’t feel appropriate anymore.”

The phoenix-man looked between the assembled crew, his eyes slightly unfocused. “Yes. You can call me Steve. It’s not my real name, but to pronounce that, you would have to understand and speak the language of the stars. But I like Steve. I think it will fit me here.”

“Well, Steve, welcome aboard,” Bucky said, finding his tongue again.


	4. Chapter 4

If Ten Forward seemed a bit more crowded and a bit noisier than usual, well, that could easily be explained away by the presence of the ship’s newest visitor. There had been some brief introductions and a few general questions, but it had been decided that Steve probably ought to be given his tour of the ship with the crewmembers he was most familiar with already. Everyone else would probably meet him in due time, but for now, they were slipping in for a quick look at the phoenix-man who had hatched from the unusual meteorite the ship had been tracking. Natasha’s presence was usually a pretty good deterrent, but curiosity was curiosity.

Natasha left her seat at the bar to cross the short distance to the table where Steve, Tony, Sam, and Bucky were sitting and talking. Tony had been brimming with questions, and Steve had done his best to answer them. She cleared her throat, gently interrupting Tony’s rambling stream of consciousness question.

“Steve? I was thinking it might not be a bad idea to find you some quarters if you’re going to be staying with us for any length of time. We can’t have you sleeping in the shuttle bay, now can we?” Natasha said with a gentle laugh, her facade melting away for a moment. “Besides, it’s getting pretty busy in here, and I bet the bartenders would be happy to let some of this crowd disperse.”

“Oh!” Steve said, looking around, as if he was only just noticing the crowd gathered to steal glances at him. He looked almost embarrassed. “Of course, yes, I’m sorry if I’ve been causing problems for your ship.”

“No need to apologize,” Sam said, shaking his head. “We’re a curious crew, it’s in our nature. We know we shouldn’t be getting in your way, but when we hear about something new and exciting, we all want to have a look. It’s not every day we’ve got a phoenix on board. And besides, we probably should’ve taken care of your quarters first so you could have somewhere a bit more private to go to get away from all of us if and when you wanted.”

“Your quarters. Are they private, reserved solely for the occupant, or are we allowed to have guests? I would like to continue our conversations there if possible, if this location is becoming too crowded,” Steve asked, looking at everyone around the table before stopping at Natasha, his question directed to her.

Bucky thought he might have imagined it, but did Steve’s eyes linger on him a little longer than strictly necessary? He thought he’d been catching little glances the whole time they’d been talking, and now this?

“Quarters are not intended for large gatherings– singles begin to feel a bit claustrophobic at four people– but you are allowed visitors if you choose,” Natasha answered. She turned her attention to the rest of the table. “And would all of you be comfortable providing your duty schedules to Steve so you and he can make arrangements?”

Murmurs of agreement, nods and smiles, and a warm “thank you” from Steve.

“Great,” Tony said, rising to his feet. “Me first. I’ve got an hour until I’m due back in Engineering, and a bunch more questions. Once you’re settled in, I can bring you a selection of books and articles you might find enlightening. You want to talk to any of us, just tap the comm and we’ll be right there on the other end of the line.”

“Of course,” Steve said, mirroring Tony’s movement. “Lead on.”

–––––––––––

“You were awfully quiet back there,” Sam said as he and Bucky headed off to Botany. “You feeling ok? You were the first one to talk to Steve when he was a cloud, but now that he’s human– or human-looking– you’ve clammed up.”

Bucky shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. “I dunno, it’s… it’s nothing.”

“I can tell it’s _not_ nothing, but if you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s fine,” Sam said.

Bucky pursed his lips and exhaled loudly and slowly through his nose. He folded his hands behind his back and looked down at the floor. 

“...But if you’re gonna act like a teenager with a secret about it, then I’m going to ignore you and talk about one of my algae projects instead. Did you hear? I’ve finally managed to improve the oxygen output– by almost a full percent– _and_ improved the flavor of vat 6b.”

“Congrats, that’s big,” Bucky replied, nodding appreciatively.

“Mm-hm,” Sam smirked. “So, what’ve you been working on lately? Anything as cool as that?”

“Oh, same old-same old,” Bucky answered. “Keeping the tomatoes happy, making sure there’s no biofilms in the hydroponics tanks. I’m not on any special projects at the moment, but I’m keeping busy.”

“Good, that’s good,” Sam replied. “Yeah, sometimes that’s all you need, just the routine work. As long as you’re enjoying it.”

“Yeah, I am,” Bucky said.

The conversation stalled as the lift arrived and they shifted in among the other crewmembers already on the lift. Bucky glanced over at Sam, trying to make up his mind if he was gonna tell him or not. He didn’t want to bother him with too much of his personal business, but he did want to talk to _someone_. He’d think it over. Maybe offer to help him with the autoclaving or the lab wipe-downs, the work no one wants to do but that has to get done, and tell him then. 

The turbolift stopped at the Botany deck and Bucky followed Sam off, quietly lingering a pace and a half behind him, still mulling it over. It wouldn’t be easy now, but it would be even worse the longer he waited.

“Sam?” Bucky asked, stopping in the middle of the hall.

“Yeah?” Sam replied, catching the waver of uncertainty in Bucky’s voice. He paused and leaned against the wall.

“Ok, so I have a… mmh, little problem and I don’t want to just drop all my problems on you, but I don’t know who else to ask,” Bucky said quietly.

“Not something you can go to the ship’s counselor about?” Sam prompted gently.

“I don’t think so?”

“Ok, what’s your problem?”

“You ever look at someone and you’re just like ‘this is the most gorgeous person I’ve seen in my life and I want to invite them back to my bunk but also want to get to know them better first and I have no idea how to talk to them about any of that’?” Bucky asked, crossing his arms over his chest in an involuntary protective pose.

“Am I hearing what I think I’m hearing?” Sam asked, raising one eyebrow. “Are you or are you not the same man who’s earned the reputation as the most notorious flirt on this ship every time we have shore leave?”

Bucky groaned and dragged one hand down his face, pointedly not answering.

Sam chuckled. “Ooh, this is a twist.”

“It’s easier if you’re just looking for some quick fun, when you’re both going into it knowing you won’t have to see each other again if you don’t want to,” Bucky mumbled. “Buy a couple drinks, say some canned lines, go dancing or whatever they want to do, have your fun, and then move on.”

“Ok, that’s fair,” Sam nodded. “Can I ask who’s caught your eye?”

Bucky gave Sam a look that was half glare, half sad puppy. “Steve,” He replied almost inaudibly.

“Phoenix-Steve?”

“Do we have any other Steves in the crew?”

“Actually, yes, four.”

“Fine, yes, phoenix-Steve. It almost feels like he picked a form that’s exactly what I’m looking for in a guy, I swear he was giving me little _looks_ the whole time in Ten Forward, and I’m not handling it well, ok? He could be onboard with us for a while, and I don’t want to make it awkward, so I wanna try to get to know him first, figure out if this is something he wants, not just make assumptions.”

“You’re making this harder than you have to; it’s not really that different.”

“How is it _not_ different?” Bucky shot back.

“Come on, Barnes, _think_. What do you do on your dates? What do you talk about?” Sam asked.

“Well…” Bucky said, drawing the word out as long as he could. “I usually say something like ‘tell me about yourself,’ and go from there. I like hearing about other people’s hobbies, what they do for fun. It’s nice to see how excited people get when they talk about things they’re passionate about.”

“Uh-huh. And?” Sam asked, making a gesture of _keep going_.

“And?” Bucky repeated.

Sam sighed. “And then you keep doing that until you know them better. You know, for a smart guy, you can be really dumb sometimes. Good thing I have a fix for that.”

Bucky blinked.

Sam smirked.

“Oh no, you are not saying what I think you’re saying,” Bucky grimaced. Sure, he’d been thinking about what he could do to make up for this, but he had forgotten to consider ‘algae taste-test guinea pig’ as an option.

“Yep,” Sam nodded. “I think we’ve had a breakthrough with the vat 1c omega-3 algae, and I believe you need to sample some algae pellets to tell me what you think.”

“I think the last set tasted like a cross between a sardine with a grudge and lawn clippings,” Bucky said, making a grossed-out face.

“And how would you know what lawn clippings taste like?” Sam laughed, elbowing Bucky gently. “If you’ve eaten _grass_ , you don’t get to complain about my nutritionally-complete algae. And think of it this way: while you sample my algae and tell me if you think it’s still too fishy, I can give you some of _my_ dating tips, _you_ can mull over how to put all this to work in getting you on your date with our resident phoenix, and future away missions will thank you for your sacrifice to make their MREs taste less fishy.”

“Fine. If your advice can get me on a _successful_ date with Steve, I’ll let you do your sardine algae worst,” Bucky said, elbowing Sam back.


	5. Chapter 5

Bucky glanced back at Steve as he waited for the bartender to finish their drink order and replicate some breakfast. It was an odd hour for a date, 0500 hours, but it was quiet and fairly private. Steve still tended to draw crowds; he’d only been onboard for four days now. _A date_. Bucky pushed that down. It wasn’t a date yet, just a getting-to-know-you deal over coffee before his shift started for that day. Steve looked up from his tablet and smiled at Bucky. Bucky smiled back, hoping his blush wasn’t visible from across the room. He felt like an awkward teenager again.

Bucky turned back to the bar and let the bartender do their job in peaceable early morning silence. 

Steve perked up as Bucky returned to the table with breakfast. He took the coffees from Bucky to let him get their food set down, and inhaled deeply.

“I think I like coffee,” Steve said with a warm smile. “My thanks to your crew for introducing me, and to you for being willing to sit and talk with me as I try the different varieties. So many different ways to serve it, each perfect in its own way.”

“It definitely is one of humankind’s best ideas,” Bucky replied with a broad grin. He sat down and sipped his latte to try to hide the blush that was again spreading across his face.

A brief silence as breakfast commenced, and Bucky kept stealing little glances over at Steve. Did Steve feel the same way he did? Was he just imagining things because that was what he _wanted_ to see? Would this breakfast date go well enough to do something else later? What if he lost his nerve and couldn’t come up with anything better than “nice weather today, huh?” That was absurd. They were on a climate-controlled starship, of _course_ the weather was nice.

“So, uh,” Bucky began, smushing his toast into the puddle of egg yolk on his plate. “This is your first time meeting humans?”

“Yes, it is,” Steve nodded. “I’d heard of your species before, but there is a lot of universe out there and I’d been in stasis for nearly a century. You humans have come a long way in a short time, I’m impressed.”

“Thanks?” Bucky replied. “I mean, I guess it’s what we do. We’re curious, and when we get ideas, we tend to just rush headlong into figuring out how to do what we want to do. Wow. That was awkward.”

“No, it made sense, don’t worry,” Steve said. His voice was calm, relaxed, and it made Bucky feel like he would gladly sit and listen to whatever he wanted to talk about.

“You said you’d been in stasis for almost a century?” Bucky asked, shifting the conversation gently back to Steve. “That’s a long time.” He cringed internally. _That_ was an awkward transition.

“Well, yes and no,” Steve answered. “My longest period of stasis was a little over 900 years, but when I’m out of stasis, my ‘lifespan’ varies from form to form. I could remain in this form as long as a human may live, and then I would return to stasis to be reborn, in a manner of speaking.”

“Fascinating,” Bucky murmured. “So, what do you like to do when you’re not in stasis? Do you have any favorite planets or species to visit? Any favorite hobbies?”

“Oh, I think it would be wrong of me to play favorites of those I’ve visited,” Steve chuckled, “but I think coffee alone puts your ship up near the top. Hobbies? I enjoy painting. Every culture I’ve ever visited has painted, and I picked it up quite early on. I have an eidetic memory, so it makes it a bit easier, not having to shuffle through reference images."

“Oh? Do you have a favorite thing to paint? Something you can't paint directly from the subject?”

“Nebulae; they can be quite beautiful, and it’s a nice challenge to figure out how to best portray them in pigments. There is so much more to the electromagnetic spectrum than just visible light, so I have to decide which colors best represent the different parts of the nebula. Even if it's not the most _accurate_ color, it may still be the one that works best in the overall composition," Steve explained.

"If you'd like to do some painting in your free time here, I'm sure we can get you set up with whatever you need," Bucky said, sure his face was betraying his feelings. He could listen to Steve talk about painting and composition and art theory all day. "I'd love to see your art."

"Thank you, I would like that," Steve replied with a warm smile. "And I would be glad to show you anything you'd like."

––––––––––

Natasha was hanging up her belt at the end of the shift when she caught an unexpected movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned, cautiously, but not too quickly, relaxing noticeably when she saw who it was.

“Oh, hello, Steve,” she said, putting on what she hoped was a friendly face. She liked Steve. He was curious, unfamiliar with humans, but he had always been polite to her, respecting the boundaries she had set for herself. And if he had worked his way into her circle of almost-friends, it was because she had willingly opened that gap for him.

“Hello, Natasha,” Steve asked, leaning casually against the wall. “I have a question I hope you can help me with. Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all, my shift just ended and I was going to head off to the holodeck and wait for Lieutenant Barton to arrive for our archery course– he’s teaching me in the use of antiquated weaponry– but there should be plenty of time until that. He’s never on time for anything except his work shifts,” Natasha explained. “Would you like to walk and talk?”

Steve nodded and fell into an easy step beside her. He folded his fingers behind his back, looking a little shy, perhaps embarrassed about his question. He had gotten a lot of information from the ship’s computer in the few weeks since he had arrived, but there were still a few things he felt he needed clarification on, or a second point of view to discuss with. Natasha felt oddly happy that he came to her as often as he did. Maybe this “friendship” thing wasn’t such a bad thing, after all, she thought.

“What’s on your mind this evening?” Natasha asked casually.

“I have been doing quite a bit of reading, but I would like a second opinion. The nature of human relationships is so broad, so varied, that I thought it would be best for me to ask someone with more firsthand knowledge than myself,” Steve asked.

Natasha stifled a laugh. “No offense, Steve, but I don’t really have a lot of good experience in that area. I may not be the best person to ask.”

“On the surface, yes, it may look that way,” Steve continued. “But you know far more than you let on. You’re observant, even if you don’t have good experience, as you say. You see and you file the knowledge away in case you might need it in the future. Experience is nice, yes, but you have a wide range of knowledge and impeccable judgement.”

“Oh, now you’re just flattering me,” Natasha said, her laugh warmer and more genuine now. “But, alright, ask your question. We’ll see if my ‘wide range of knowledge’ can help you out here.”

“How do you know, how can you tell if someone is interested in being in a relationship with someone else?” Steve asked.

“Hmm,” Natasha mused, frowning slightly. “That is a tricky one. Would I be correct in assuming you’re asking about more than being quote-unquote ‘just friends’ with someone? And may I ask who you’ve got your eye on?”

“Barnes,” Steve replied, blushing a little. “He and I are friends, but I’ve begun to feel _different_ around him. Like I want more, but I don’t want him to feel like what we have isn’t good enough. I have some experience with other species, but every individual is, well, _individual_ , and I wanted to speak to someone with more knowledge, both of humans in general and of this particular human.”

“Well, you two are already friends, so you’re off to a good start,” Natasha replied with a smile to help put him at ease. “Humans are _definitely_ variable. Some people can just jump right in off of only animal magnetism, and build up from a physical relationship. Some people don’t want that kind of relationship at all, preferring friendship. Both of those are equally valid.”

Natasha paused, looking pensive. “But I’d say Barnes is more of a slow starter where he needs to be friends first if it’s going to be more than just a fling. Keep doing what you’re doing in getting to know him. Maybe set up a little private table in the holodeck with flowers or whatever his favorite plant is, and have dinner brought in. A gentle ramp up from hanging out as ‘just friends.’ Gauge his interest. I don’t want to sound so vague, but if he’s interested, you’ll just have to feel it. I think he must have had a really bad relationship when he was younger that he doesn’t talk about, so he feels like his only options are no-strings-attached flings or keeping his feelings tucked away inside him. Be gentle with him. Warm him up. He’ll let you know. And then once it’s out in the open and you both know that it’s mutual, as long as you stay open and honest with each other with good communication, you should be golden.”

Steve nodded, absorbing her words. “Thank you. I think… I think I understand better now.”

“No problem,” Natasha said, giving Steve a quick nod in return. “I hope things go well for you two.”


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky’s eyes went wide as the holodeck doors slid open. The program was one he’d run often enough, a tropical getaway with lush plant life and a quiet chorus of insects and birdsong, but modified slightly. Instead of strictly forest, a patio had been added with a table for two in the center, set with a potted plant arrangement, two mugs of steaming coffee, and a cart with covered dishes waiting beside it. He turned to Steve. Steve grinned back at him.

“Do you like it?” Steve asked. “I know you’d mentioned liking this program, so I hope it’s alright that I made a few changes for this morning.”

“Is it real coffee?” Bucky asked, briefly blanking on what else to say.

“Real coffee, real food. I wanted to have a nice brunch, I believe you call it, with you somewhere quiet, just for us,” Steve said as he walked up to the table and pulled out a chair for Bucky.

“Well, thank you very much,” Bucky said, taking the proffered chair and settling in. He reached out and gently prodded the potted cactus in the middle of the table. “Is that an _Astrophytum asterias_?”

“It is,” Steve answered. “I hope you like it? I know you said you find cacti fascinating as a group, but to gift a cactus to someone can be taken to mean that you find them ‘prickly’ and hard to get close to, and I didn’t want to offend.”

“No offense taken; I love cacti and you clearly remembered me saying so,” Bucky said, smiling at the cactus. “Is it real, or is it part of the program? I know it’s not easy to get cacti all the way out here.”

“It’s a hologram, unfortunately, but it isn’t part of the program,” Steve said as he uncovered a few of the brunch dishes and began serving the food. “You can remove it from the holodeck and take it back to your quarters with you.”

“Well, thank you very much,” Bucky said, beaming up at Steve.

Conversation lulled, Bucky took the opportunity to start into his food. He gave a pleased nod, a mumbled “This is good,” around a bite of omelet, and tried to hide his blush behind his napkin. The two of them ate without speaking, simply enjoying the view, the ambient sounds, and the other’s company. Bucky kept sneaking glances at Steve, wondering if he was interpreting this correctly. It could hardly be called anything _but_ a date, but he had to be _sure_ before he made any assumptions, before he _said_ anything. What if this was just common courtesy, friendship among phoenixes? He _wanted_ it to be a date, wanted it more than he had thought he ever could.

Steve watched Bucky quietly, trying not to look too much like he was staring. Bucky was hard to read. Bucky was happy to be here, happy to be spending time with him, that was certain from his words and body language, but was there _more_? Steve thought he kept getting little flashes and sparks of something akin to yearning, but Bucky was either playing coy, or he wasn’t sure himself how he _wanted_ to feel. He’d keep pushing gently, show Bucky that he was interested, but willing to wait until he was ready.

Bucky shifted in his seat, chair legs scraping slightly against the stone patio. Steve perked up, ready to serve up more potatoes, or simply to listen to what Bucky seemed bursting to want to say. 

“Can I–” Bucky began, but was cut off by a flicker in the program, a static in the trees and a sudden dematerialization of his chair, and he fell to the ground, chair rematerializing on top of him.

Steve sprang to his feet and was at Bucky’s side in a flash, reaching down to help him up. Bucky tipped the chair unceremoniously off of him and stood up.

“What just happened?” Bucky asked.

“I’m not sure,” Steve replied, looking around. The insect and bird sounds had cut out and some of the trees were still twitching in ways not explained by the programmed breeze, and what appeared to be snowflakes were beginning to fall from the cloudless sky. “Computer? What’s happening?”

“The ship has encountered an sudden and unexpected ion storm,” the Computer explained calmly. “Some systems on board are experiencing temporary malfunctions, including this program, but holodeck safety protocols are all functioning normally.”

“Computer, please end program,” Steve said.

There was a beep and the inactive holodeck grid was visible for a fraction of a second, but the program did not deactivate.

“Computer? Open the doors,” Steve asked, slightly less collected than his previous request.

Another beep and the doors remained stubbornly closed and invisible behind the running program. Snow was falling more thickly through the tropical flora, beginning to collect on the stone patio. Was he imagining things, or did the air temperature feel slightly cooler?

“No...” Bucky murmured so softly it was barely audible.

“Computer?” Steve asked again, reaching out to take Bucky’s hand to reassure him.

“Apologies, but that function seems to be temporarily unresponsive,” the Computer said. “Engineering has been notified, but the holodeck, since safety protocols are all functioning as expected, is not a priority. It could be up to one hour before the holodeck is returned to normal operation.”

“Am I imagining it, or is it getting colder in here?” Bucky asked, squeezing Steve’s hand back.

“Affirmative,” the Computer replied. “Perceived air temperature within the holodeck has fallen by 1.6 degrees since the initial malfunction. It may be unpleasant, but no harm will come to you while the program runs. Actual temperature within the holodeck remains at 23 degrees Celsius.”

“Great, so it’ll only _feel_ like I’m freezing to death,” Bucky muttered.

Steve pulled Bucky a little closer to his side. “Computer, could you add some kind of winterwear to the program for us?”

Another beep. “That subroutine seems to be unable to be accessed right now. It seems this program will have to run as-is until the holodeck repairs can be made.”

Steve glanced over at Bucky, who looked distinctly uneasy. Like he was trying, but failing, to hide his distress. “Bucky?” he asked. “You don’t look so well. Are you going to be ok?”

Bucky pursed his lips, looking briefly as if he were going to lie and say he was fine, but he shook his head and pushed closer into Steve’s side.

“I don’t like the cold,” Bucky replied quietly after a couple beats of silence. “I know I should be stronger than this, but I _really_ don’t like the cold. I know, logically, it’s not real and it can’t hurt me, but it still feels like this is very real and I’m not strong enough to be _logical_ about it. Every time I think I’m over it, something comes back and reminds me that it’ll never really be over. I just have to keep figuring out how to live with it, but sometimes I can’t and I relapse. You shouldn’t have to see that.”

“You’re strong enough, I promise. If I can do anything to help you through this, I _will_. Would you like to sit down? I don’t know if I entirely trust the chairs right now, but the ground seems solid enough,” Steve said, gesturing towards the trees where the snow seemed to be accumulating less.

Bucky nodded, squeezing Steve’s hand tighter for reassurance.

Steve pulled Bucky close to him as they picked their way through the forest. He found a sheltered spot under a large tree, swept a patch of ground clear of leaves and sticks and snow, and sat down. He patted the ground next to him and Bucky settled in next to him, flashing him a wan smile.

Bucky sighed and leaned back against the tree trunk, resting briefly while it was still solid and supportive. He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, held the breath, and exhaled sharply before leaning forward and covering his face with his hands. He felt Steve’s arm come to rest around his shoulders, solid and warm. 

“You asked me about my arm once,” Bucky said quietly. “I wasn’t ready then. I don’t know if I’m ready now, but I feel like you should know.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Steve said, shaking his head slowly.

“No, I do. If we’re going to be stuck in here in the snow, I _do_ ,” Bucky said more firmly. He held up his left hand, palm towards him, and slowly turned it around. He flexed the fingers, watching the plates shift, the artificial joints bend, listening to the faint electrical sounds of the circuitry.

Steve raised his hand and held it up next to Bucky’s before twining their fingers together, linking arms.

“If we’re gonna do this, you deserve to know some of the things that make me who and what I am. That way you won’t be blindsided by it later. It wasn’t with this ship or crew, but it was supposed to be an easy away mission,” Bucky began. “It was in a snowy mountain range, but we were only going to be there long enough to collect a few specimens of a rare lichen that could metabolize theta radiation. We wanted to try to propagate it and distribute it to the fleet for difficult cleanups. The atmosphere wasn’t one we could transport through, so we took a shuttle and then climbed to the location of the lichen. I identified the lichen and collected some, but something triggered an avalanche and we were caught up in it before we could react. The whole away team was separated and I ended up pinned between two rocks on the side of the mountain, dangling by my left arm. I was conscious for… entirely too long.” 

Bucky shuddered at the memory and Steve pulled him closer to him, wrapping him in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Steve murmured.

Bucky nodded and continued. “When I came to again, I was in Sickbay and the Doctor explained to me what had happened and that, while, unfortunately, they had not been able to save my arm, they had been able to give me a prosthetic that was just as good as the real thing. They suggested I go to counselling sessions so I could process what had happened in a safe environment. And it _had_ worked, at first. My then-boyfriend, however, didn’t feel like the ‘new me’ was someone he wanted to deal with. It simmered for a while, a little under the surface, then one night we had a fight about it and he just left. I stopped going to counselling, spiralled, got transferred to a desk job planet-side, and _slowly_ started getting better again when I started making friends again. And I thought I was better– getting better– but ever since then, I haven’t done well in the cold. And even if I know this isn’t real, even if I know it can’t hurt me, those parts of my brain that never really got over it start panicking because it _feels_ real. And it’s not a pretty side of me, not one I want other people to have to see.”

Bucky’s words were getting faster, his sentences more clipped as the snow fell more thickly, settling into little drifts on the forest floor. He was pulling into himself, talking to Steve but his eyes were a little unfocused. 

“Computer?” Steve asked, wondering what the ETA was, wondering if Sickbay should be alerted to have a medical team waiting, wondering if there was anything he could say to speed the process along. Even if there was no threat of physical harm to either of them, Bucky was not handling the situation well.

No response.

“Computer?” Steve asked again, looking around as if he might notice any changes in the program.

Still nothing.

Steve hugged Bucky closer, trying to reassure him. The Computer might not be responding, but there _was_ something he could try.

“Bucky?” Steve asked, giving Bucky’s shoulder a little squeeze, feeling how he was shivering. “Can you look at me, Bucky? You’re _not_ weak. Trauma is a messy thing, and you’re not broken or weak for having gone through it. I think I can help you get through this. It's going to be a little tricky since the temperature we _feel_ isn't the _actual_ temperature, and I don't want you to overheat, but I think it could work. And I don’t want to startle you, but I’m going to have to transform for it to work, ok? I promise, I’m not going to leave you.”

Bucky met Steve’s eyes and nodded a quick assent.

Steve reached up and gently stroked Bucky’s hair, fingers lingering at the nape of his neck in a tender gesture. He gave him a smile and a nod and rose to his feet. Closing his eyes, Steve focused himself, redirecting the energy inside him. He spread his arms wide and began to glow. His uniform melted away, replaced by waves of feathers, rippling over his body as it began to change its shape. Pinions sprouted from his arms, spreading into broad, blue wings.

Bucky remained seated, legs crossed, looking up at Steve. He raised his hand to shield his eyes and squinted against the bright, nearly blinding light radiating off of Steve’s body. The flame-colored feathers shimmered as Steve transformed and the light dazzled off of the snow. 

Steve gave one last, vigorous flap of his wings and settled to the ground, so close to Bucky that his feathers brushed against his skin. He bowed his head and tucked his long neck into his feathers to bring himself back to Bucky’s eye level. Bucky reached out to stroke Steve’s folded wing– he would have taken his hand if he had one– and then Steve’s voice was in his head, clear and comforting.

 _I’m here_ , Steve said, spreading his wings to envelop Bucky. _I’m here and I’m not going to leave you. We’re going to get through this._

It was a wonderful relief to Bucky as the snow stopped falling on him, Steve’s wings making a canopy. He looked up, marveling at how blue they were, the light filtering through the feathers, like the richness of the evening sky just after the sun has set. His eyes darted back down, caught by a shimmer, a slight movement. Steve’s body had begun to glow again, flickering like a low fire and radiating warmth. Steve ruffled his feathers, shivering his wings to help circulate the warmth. Bucky held up his hands, feeling the gentle heat coming off of Steve’s body.

“How… how do you do that?” Bucky marveled as the air within the protective circle of Steve’s wings rose to a comfortable temperature.

 _We phoenixes have an organ that produces something like an internal fire_ , Steve explained. _It helps sustain us in the vacuum of space and can be used as a defense or for protection. I have to be careful, though, not to let you overheat. I am warming both the perceived and actual temperature of the holodeck. Please, do not hesitate to tell me if you begin to feel uncomfortable or unwell._

“You’re warm… I’m starting to feel better already,” Bucky said with a smile and a nod. He reached out to stroke Steve’s cheek, fingers lingering.

 _That’s good, I’m glad_ , Steve said, pressing his head into Bucky’s palm. He closed his eyes and gave a little musical warble of relief and happiness. 

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed as Bucky slowly stroked Steve’s neck, fingers working between the feathers. Steve’s warmth permeated into Bucky’s body, a balm against the chill outside of his wings.

 _I hope I was not reading the signs wrong_ , Steve began slowly, _but when I prepared this holodeck program, I was planning to ask you, over a nice meal as seems to be a common human custom, if you would like to, uh, officially begin dating._

“Really?” Bucky asked, a little shyly. He cleared his throat unobtrusively and began again with more confidence. “Yes, yes, of course, I’d love to!”

 _I know this isn’t the most ideal circumstances…_ Steve said, trailing off and ruffling his feathers again.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Bucky said with a little laugh. “At least when we get out of this, we’ll have a great story about how we started dating. Just imagine, we’re on shore leave, sitting in our deck chairs getting some sun. Some other couple asks us how we met, so I start explaining that ‘well, he was a meteorite when we met, and then I almost had a panic attack from a holodeck malfunction on our first date, and we’ve been together ever since’.”

 _It certainly will_ , Steve laughed back, puffing out his feathers as he did. As he smoothed out his feathers again, he asked _When this gets fixed, what would you like to do? Continue our meal? I fear the food I brought might not be safe to eat anymore, but I can have more delivered._

Bucky shook his head gently. “I’d like to finish brunch, but I think I’d prefer to do it either in Ten Forward, or one of our quarters if you’d like it to be private. As much as I love this program– when it’s not malfunctioning– I think I’d like to get out of the holodeck.”

 _I understand completely_ , Steve nodded.

“Speaking of which,” Bucky said, glancing around reflexively. “Is there an ETA on us getting out of here? Your wings must be getting tired, having to hold them open like that, and I can still see snow from under them. Computer?”

 _The Computer doesn’t seem to be responding_ , Steve said. _I don’t know if that is something else malfunctioning, or if it was a necessary step for getting the holodeck working again. Don’t worry, though, I’m not tired yet. I can do this as long as I need to, to keep you warm and safe._

“Thank you, again,” Bucky said. “I guess we have some time to fill, so I’m gonna jump back a couple conversations and ask you about the cactus. There’s a lot of cacti out there, so how’d you decide on what species to replicate for me? I love it. I don’t know if I ever told you my list of favorites, but _Astrophytum asterias_ is one of my all-time favorite small cacti.”

_Would you believe I was browsing a list of cacti, saw its name, smiled at the idea of it being called ‘star plant’ and made my decision entirely by name?_

“I love that. Sometimes you just have to put logic and science aside and say ‘I like this name,’ or ‘I like this color’ when picking out a holographic plant.”

Steve was just about to speak again when the program flickered again and someone knocked on the holodeck door. Startled, Bucky scrambled to his feet and Steve folded his wings, rising to his full height.

The air temperature was still chilly, but it was warming quickly. The program has been deactivated, leaving only the grid pattern of the inactive holodeck walls visible. There was another knock on the door and a questioning voice from the hall beyond.

“Tony?” Bucky asked, surprised.

“Yes, that’s me. Hello in there. I have managed to disable the program, but the doors are still stuck. We’re working on it, shouldn’t be long now, and there’s a medical team waiting if you need them,” Tony called in. “Computer said your vitals looked a bit funky for a bit, but she couldn’t talk to either of you, so she called Sick Bay and asked to have a team waiting when we got you out. But then you steadied out again and the air temperature showed a localized spike up to 29 degrees. Can I ask what happened?”

 _I was going to change back_ , Steve said, humor in his voice, _but I think I’m just going to stay how I am now, let this be Tony’s explanation._

“Sounds good,” Bucky replied to Steve. Then, to Tony, “I think you should just get the doors open and see for yourself.”

“Working on it,” Tony answered. “I could just get someone to lever them open, but I want to see if I can get them working on their own again before I agree to break them even more. Hang on just a little longer.”

After a couple minutes of awkward silence, broken occasionally by muffled cursing, the holodeck beeped and the doors slid open as if they had never been broken at all.

“Ah, success! You may now exit the holodeck!” Tony crowed, spreading his arms wide. He stopped and stared at Steve. “Hang on. Steve, you’re a bird again.”

 _Yes, I am_ , Steve answered, giving a loud, cawing laugh.

“Yes, you very much are,” Tony repeated, still staring at Steve. “Anyhoo. Barnes, you still need medical? A scan, anything? Steve? What about you?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt,” Bucky said. “After that, are we free to go? Our brunch was so rudely interrupted by a holodeck malfunction.”

“I’m not your doctor,” Tony shrugged. “And can you say you’ve really served aboard a _proper_ ship if you _haven’t_ had your brunch interrupted by a holodeck malfunction? I mean, come on, join the club.”

 _Oh? What was your holodeck malfunction?_ Steve asked.

Bucky placed his hand on Steve’s wing and shook his head. “After we finish our brunch. Tony’s stories, if you haven’t figured out yet, can go on for a _long_ time, and I’m still hungry.”

“Or you two lovebirds– see what I did there?– can have your brunch while I tell you? I don’t think you’ve heard this one yet, Barnes,” Tony said, giving the two of them finger-guns and a big grin.

“ _Afterwards_ ,” Bucky said firmly. “Steve and I, we have a conversation to continue that was interrupted by the holodeck malfunction. Also, did I mention I’m still hungry?”

“You did, but that is entirely fair,” Tony nodded. “Enjoy your brunch and your chat, and I will hold you to that ‘afterwards’.”

 _We’ll be there_ , Steve replied. _And Bucky, once medical is satisfied you’re ok, shall we grab something and take our brunch back to your quarters?_

“Sounds great to me,” Bucky said. “Lead on.”


End file.
